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Britain (the pseudo-civilized version) has been around for about 1500 years, starting when the Romans withdrew as the sun set on their Empire.  By comparison, the good ol’ U-S of A (again, the pseudo-civilized version) has only been around for about 300 years.  Sure, if you’re British, there are bragging rights to be had with the centuries upon centuries of colourful history, traditions and culture.  But, like growing up with siblings, being the oldest is only the coolest until you start to round the hill and slide down the backside of the “age curve.”

Being the younger of the two countries has it’s advantages too.  We (the US, being the younger country) looked to the older country’s history and where it botched things up, we took painstaking lengths to not repeat these egregious errors.

Case in point: city names.

York. It’s a pretty cool place to hang out in England, so why not name our young city after it with “New York”?  

Dover? Cambridge? Mansfield? Lincoln? Newark? Even Marlborough?  Every American has heard of all those names before (in an American context), but probably doesn’t realize that they all came from ye olde English boroughs and hamlets.

But at least we had some discrimination as we were naming our American cities during their infancies.  We learned from England’s mistakes and didn’t name our cities after some of the horrible city names I’ve seen across Lincolnshire… take a look:

ScunthorpeScunthorpe… the only city in England that has the “C-Bomb” in its name.

BelchfordBelchford… better out than in, I guess?

SleafordSleaford…  upstanding and teeming with gentlemen.

SkegnessSkegness… quintessential for cleanliness.

HagworthinghamHagworthingham… where are all the cats?  Where there are old ladies, there must be cats.

SwinesheadSwineshead… luau anyone?

GrimsbyGrimsby… always a warm welcome in this town.

HorncastleHorncastle… where toads go to await the princess’ kiss.

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