Luckily, I have very little experience in the surgery room of hospitals… and after yesterday I hope to keep it that way. I honestly don’t remember too much after getting the IV put into my arm… I remember rolling over so they could give me a shot in my ass, and vaguely remember the ether mask they put over my face.
Other than that, I came-to after the surgery when I was back in my waiting room. A surgery is a surgery is a surgery (and it seemed to go fine I guess), so I won’t really sit here and tell a 10-minute story on it. Rather, here’s a few things that surprised me or caught me off-guard:
- They must’ve told me at least 10 times that I’d feel like vomiting once the anesthesia wore off (I guess it’s just one of the after effects). Bullshit say I. I put down a Taco Bell meal, 5 pierogies and a bowl of ice cream within 2 hours of being released from the hospital. Not once did my stomach feel uneasy. The anesthesia did give me a pretty screamin’ headache though.
- Having your nerve cut off in one leg sucks. I mean, I’d almost rather feel some pain than nothing at all. I’d crutch around and my entire left leg would just swing around aimlessly, lost like a bastard on Father’s Day. I constantly watched it because I was afraid I’d bend my knee backwards or crush my ankle on something and not even realize it. I think that was the weirdest feeling of the night… I could touch it or move it with my hands, but based off my senses, that was not my leg. Weird.
- Go figure, I don’t think Percocet works for me all that much. I took one before I went to bed just in case the anesthesia wore off (which they said it would stick around for 24-36 hours after the surgery). Well, the anesthesia wore off at 0300 in the morning and the Percocet really didn’t do a damn thing (even after I took a second one). Funny with the anesthesia at 3am: even though I still had no muscle-control of my left leg, nor could I feel my hand slapping at it, but I could completely feel a sledgehammer taking it out of my ankle.
- To minimize the discomfort up-front, I’ve instituted “piss bottles” here in our bedroom… that way I don’t have to move my ankle, induce swelling, take the chance of loosing my balance, etc. I know it sounds gross (Pam’s kinda grossed out about it), but piss bottles are normal ops for anyone that’s been in Iraq or has been in a cockpit for over 3 hours. Here’s what caught me off-guard though: do you know how hard it is to pee in a piss bottle while you’re laying in bed?!?! You ever get those dreams that you’ve wet your bed, but you don’t because over the years you’ve trained your body to hold it? Whenever I utilize the ol’ piddlepack in bed, all these red flags go up subconsciously that I’m about to wet my bed. So it takes about 5 minutes to trick my body into letting the Yellow River flow… whereas with normal piddlepack use (while not laying in a bed), it only takes about 10 seconds before the flood gates open up.
- Pam’s been an awesome help with playing Nurse and all (and no, I’m not even touching the kinky stuff – my leg would probably fall off if I tried any of that). Granted, I knew that she would be there for me… but I didn’t expect her to empty out my piss bottles for me! Now that’s true love.